Feeling Behind? Here’s a Different Way to Look at It

Right now, I feel like I’m behind.
There’s too much in motion.
Too many open loops.
And definitely no work-life harmony to be found.

I’ve been here before.

Every time I start measuring myself against what’s not done, it looks like I’m standing still.

That’s when I go back to a simple tool I picked up a few years ago from a book called The Gap and the Gain. It’s stuck with me ever since.

Most of us only track “the gap”, the distance between where we are and where we think we should be.
But the gain? That’s the part we forget to measure.
It’s how far we’ve already come.

Tracking the Gain: What Actually Happened This Year

So I sat down and made a list.
Not because I needed a pat on the back.
But because if I couldn’t see what I had done… there’d be nothing to build on.

Here’s what actually happened this year:

• I ran 7 major workshops and programs for partner organizations. Built from scratch, led live, and kept refining every single time.
• From those sessions, I worked privately with 31 women. It gave them a chance to get 1:1 support, ask specific questions, and move their businesses forward with actual feedback.
• I ran multiple workshops inside my own business — testing new material and refining what’s next.
• I worked with 8 private clients on strategy, messaging, automations, and AI to help their systems run more smoothly.
• I sold 377 GPTs. The feedback has been incredible. I’ve had women email me to say they’re finally connecting with their audience, building actual community, getting more views and engagement, and now their people are waiting for ways to work with them.
• I created Summer Camp, an eight-week container where some women came in unsure but knew they wanted to get their marketing in order. They got clear on their persona, rewrote their website copy, created a lead magnet and email series, and had a strategy to promote it. One participant just signed a lease for her new business location.
• I gave a talk at a Women in Trades event, helping women get clear on their skills and talk about what they do in a way their foremen, coworkers, and managers finally heard.
• I wrapped up a 6-month mentor program with Women in Business New Brunswick, and stepped into another cohort that finishes in February.
• And I organized another year of monthly meetups for women in business. Women from across the Saint John area attended. We laughed, we shared, we grew, and we supported each other.

And Outside of Work?

• My kids are doing well in school. More importantly, I keep hearing how kind and thoughtful they are.
• My oldest got her first job. I went with her on her first business trip and first flight to Toronto in September.
• My husband and I took our first trip alone in years to see Paul McCartney in Montreal. This was a bucket-list moment for me.
• I read or listened to 37 books.
• I received an official ADHD diagnosis and finally started understanding how my brain works.

So yes, I’m tired.
And yes, some things are still unfinished.

But when I see it all together like this, of course I feel stretched.
I’ve been doing a lot.
More than I realized.

And maybe you have too.

If You’re Ending the Year Wondering If You’ve Fallen Behind, Try This Instead:

Start tracking your gain.
Not just the metrics.
The real stuff.

Start a simple doc or journal.
Each month, write down what you worked on, who you helped, and what changed.
Make it messy. Use voice notes. Take screenshots.
Keep a little trail so next year you’re not relying on memory or motivation.
You’ll have proof.

If you’ve been thinking, “I should be further along by now,” take a second and look at what you’re measuring against.

• Some people have a team. Some have funding.
• Some are faking it while telling you to just post more.

You’re not behind.
You’re just building something real.
And real takes more than ten minutes a day from your phone.

So stop watching everyone else.
Watch yourself.

Track what you’re doing.
What you’re learning.
What’s actually changing because you showed up.

That’s your gain.
That’s what grows.

Now go celebrate what you’ve already done.
You’ve earned that.

And if this reflection helped, or gave you a new way to look at your year, hit reply and let me know.
I always love hearing what’s resonating.

Let’s go again.
But this time, keep the receipts.